Spiked Drinks
by xnightxrainx
Summary: Shigure decides to spike Kyo, Tohru, and Yuki's drinks as a little prank! And right before they go to visit the main house! What will come of this prank?
1. Chapter 1

this fanfic is dedicated to cemetarydemon, because right now shes miserable becuz she got new braces so i wrote this just to make her feel better hope it works

i will be havin no more comments for the rest of the story.

Chapter 1

Shigure giggled at the thought of his plan. It was simple. Get the teens out of the room for long enough to spike their drinks. Then they'll be drunk the rest of the night, and even have a hangover in the morning. It was all too perfect.

Shigure sat at the foot of the table, glaring at the teens. None of them seemed to notice him, they were too busy in their own pathetic arguments. There was one flaw to his plan, and that was how to get them out of the room.

After 5 minutes, Shigure had nothing. 'Time for desperate measures,' he thought. He looked outside. It was dark. Perfect.

He stood up suddenly, but of course no one noticed. They were in a heated battle about leaks. Oh, such good leaks. Shigure grabbed for a dinner plate that was already broken and worn and threw it out the kitchen window.

The sound of crashed glass startled everyone. They all stared at Shigure like he was an idiot. Finally, Kyo said, "Why the hell did you break your own window!"

"Hurry! There was a burglar outside and he's going to take something! Go find him and chase him away now!" Shigure was literally pushing them out the door and slammed it behind them. Then he quickly scampered over to the table that still had everyone's food on it.

He giggled as he reached for the sake that he was already drinking. Hurriedly, he dropped a generous amount of it into each of their drinks. 'That was easy,' he thought. Then he sat down patiently in his chair. 5 minutes passed.

'Jeez, they are taking way too long.' Shigure thought in frustration. Then a smile spread across his face. He grabbed again for his sake and poured an even more generous amount into each glass. He giggled childishly before adding more, and more, and more.

Then voices were heard outside as the door flew open. "Dammit, there was not burglar I swear! That damn mutt was lying!" It was Kyo.

"Maybe he just got away." Yuki replied. Tohru was still shaking. She had been very frightened of this supposed burglar even though she hadn't even seen one. She just stood behind Yuki and Kyo as they fought over whether or not the burglar was real.

They walked into the kitchen to see that Shigure was sitting patiently. The scene was a bit odd with the shattered window in the background and the small pieces covering the counter like snow.

Shigure gasped dramatically. "You didn't catch the burglar!"

"No…" Yuki said.

"Why, I'm appalled. Ah, well, can't be helped I suppose. Just finish your dinner so that we can go visit the main house!"

Kyo chugged down the dinner, including the drink, without caring what it was or tasted like. Yuki ate as slowly as he possibly could in order to delay the visit to the main house. When he took his first sip of the drink, he spat it out right on Kyo's face. Kyo yelled at him furiously, which to Yuki's like delayed them more. But he ended up drinking the rest of it despite the taste. Tohru finished her dinner way before Yuki, not complaining about the bad tasting drink.

They all went for the door and walked to the main house.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

By the time they reached the main house, none of them were walking straight. They all looked like drunken idiots, which they could now say that they were. "Come on sillies, they're waiting." Shigure giggled. "Let's visit Haru first."

Getting to Haru's was a challenge. Tohru kept tripping in the snow, and Kyo kept tripping over her. Yuki kept kitting random trees and trashcans and other various things that were in front of him. Eventually, Shigure had to grab them all by the wrists and walk them over.

He rang the doorbell, and Haru answered. "Hi guys…uhh what's with these guys?" He stared and the three, whose tongues were all hanging out of their mouth.

"I don't know," Shigure giggled. He dragged them inside, and Kyo yelled, "Save the dragons and unicorns dammit!" Haru stared, a glint of fear in his eye. "Uhm…let's sit down everyone."

They all sat down in Haru's living room, but not for long. The drunken idiots lost interest in the conversation that Haru and Shigure were having about the weather. Neither of them noticed them disappear. At least, both of them acted like they didn't notice (coughshigurecough).

"Oh I saw this pretty girl and- oh dear, where did everyone go?" Shigure 'noticed' finally.

"Uhhhh…." Suddenly, Yuki came flying out of nowhere, pieces of cardboard attached assumed to be attempts at wings. He jumped high up and screamed, "AAAHHHHH!" while he was airborn. Finally, he landed on Haru, who winced in pain at Yuki's impact.

Haru turned black instantly. "What the hell was that! Don't jump on me like that dammit! It hurts! ARE YOU LISTENING YUKI!"

He wasn't. Instead, he was staring at his makeshift wings, which were completely ripped apart from that landing. "YUKI!" Haru yelled.

Yuki finally looked up from his broken wings and fell on Haru out of loss of balance, even though he was sitting. "Oh Haru, why don't you make love to me?" he said in a drunk voice that didn't sound right on Yuki.

"Ewww no!" Haru screeched as he pushed the drunken teen off. Yuki's lids were half open, and once he hit the couch, he was fast asleep.

Then, suddenly, there was a loud thud. Haru and Shigure ran into Haru's bedroom to see Tohru on the floor, laughing her head off. All around her were shards of a glass window. Up above her was a broken window.

"What the hell Tohru!" Haru said furiously.

Tohru laughed. "Hahahaha….I…I…I…hahahaha…I remember how Shigure threw something at his window and it broke…and…so…hahahaha…it look like fun…so…ahahaha…I decided to try it! It really…hahah…was fun!"

Haru turned bright red and moved at the girl to strike her. Shigure giggled and grabbed Haru's arm to hold him back. "Now, now Haru. Hitting ladies is rude!" He then went back to his giggling as he held Haru. Haru let out a string of curse words.

Then, another thud was heard. The whole room fell quiet, and there was a faint sound of hums coming from the bathroom. Haru hit Shigure's groin so that he would let go and darted for the bathroom door. It wasn't locked, luckily.

Haru peaked inside to see that Kyo was in Haru's shower. It wasn't running, but Kyo seemed to be singing the words to "Hit Me Baby One More Time" inside it. Haru walked over to the shower and opened it. Inside was indeed a naked Kyo dancing to the song he sang.

Haru's eyes widened in fear. But he couldn't move. It was too strange. Kyo sang the chorus over and over again, and then during the line, "Hit me baby one more time" he slapped Haru hard in the ass. This high exertion of force caused him to fall over.

Shigure walked in once he heard the thud. He started to laugh insanely at the sight of Kyo laying naked on the ground of Haru's shower. 'Oh, they will never live this down,' he thought.

Haru just decided to walk away from that whole Kyo thing. It was too strange and too creepy to bear. But walking into his bedroom revealed another strange scene. Tohru was on the now awake Yuki's shoulders and jumping up and down. Tohru's head kept hitting the ceiling, but neither seemed to care.

Then, Yuki took a jump to high and lost balance. They both fell over onto Haru's bookcase, which then fell over onto them. This only caused them to laugh their heads off more.

"That's it!" Haru exclaimed. "Get them out Shigure! Now!" Shigure giggled and obeyed. He walked into the bathroom and forced Kyo, who was still lying on the shower floor, to put his clothes back on. Then he pulled up the bookcase, books still plastered all around, and dragged Tohru and Yuki out the door.

"Well it was a nice-" _Slam!_ "visit."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Ok, my drunken friends, who shall we visit next?"

"The Canadians!" Yuki yelled.

"Momiji, good idea!" Shigure said brightly and walked through the night, still gripping the drunken teens, and reached Momiji's house.

He knocked on the door, and a short little blonde answered with a smile. "Hello!" The smile turned to a frown when he saw the 3 teens being dragged by Shigure that looked like they were in a DrEaMlAnD.

Shigure laughed and brought them into the house. This was turning out to be a fun prank! He laid(no perverted thoughts) them on the floor as him and Momiji sat down on the armchairs.

"So what's wrong with them?" Momiji asked, staring at them in disgust.

"I think they had a little too much sake, if you know what I mean," he said brightly.

"They drink?" Momiji said curiously. Tohru takes this moment to scream randomly. Momiji stares at her for a moment, her gaze locked in his. Then she decides to get up. She stands up straight for a moment, only to lose balance and fall right on Momiji.

Naturally, this caused him to transform into his rabbit form. Tohru freaked out at seeing this as thought it were the first time, and started running around the room screaming. Then she looked at the bunny and acted as though she forgot it was Momiji. "My, what a cute little bunny!" She stroked it softly.

The other two boys decided to follow Tohru's example by getting up. They all acted dignified, like she did, and like she did, right before falling over. They were soon in a pile on the floor and laughing. Yuki waved at Momiji, who hesitantly waved back.

Then they both got up again and leaned against the wall. Then Kyo randomly says, "I have to pee." He walked over to the bathroom. At least that's where they believed he was going, though he probably didn't know where it was.

Tohru continued to stroke the bunny Momiji, while Yuki looked curiously at the ceiling. He saw a crack, so he decided to try and pry it open. He looked around for something that resembled a crow bar, but found none. So he grabbed at it with his fingers, trying to pry it open.

Shigure and Momiji watched dumbfounded, trying to conclude on what he was doing. The truth seemed too stupid to be correct.

Yuki tried and tried to pry it open for nearly 10 minutes with no luck. So, seeing that he wasn't doing anyone any harm, they ignored him.

"Talk about clouded judgment, ay?" Shigure suppressed giggles as he spoke. "Hey, Kyo's been in the bathroom for quite a while. Maybe we should go check on him."

The yellow bunny nodded, and hopped off the chair reluctant to leave Tohru's stroking hands. He and Shigure went over to the bathroom, Momiji leading the way. They found that the door was locked.

"It's ok, I have a key over there on the sink. Will you go get it Shigure?" Momiji asked.

Shigure nodded and walked over to the sink. Sure enough was a small golden key. He picked it up and placed it in the keyhole of the bathroom door. The lock clicked and the door flung open.

On the floor was a sleeping Kyo. His pants were half down, and the expression on his face was that of pure pleasure. But that wasn't the worst of it. The whole room smelled of urine, and to Momiji's dread, the turning on of the light revealed half dried urine stains everywhere around the room but the toilet.

Shigure turned away and let some giggles loose. Once calm again, he went back in and slapped Kyo awake. Kyo took hard work and perseverance to awaken, but a man like Shigure was able to get the job done.

Kyo got to his feet and left the room without saying a word, not to mention without noticing the mess he made. Momiji looked at is solemnly, knowing he would have to pay to get it cleaned.

"Oh, Yuki, fuck me harder!" Tohru half moaned, half yelled from the living room. Shigure couldn't take it anymore. He collapsed on the ground laughing his head off. After about a minute, he regained composure and walked in the living room to join the others.

Momiji, still a bunny, was already there, and a look of horror was evident even on his tiny rabbit face. Kyo was on the bed, pretending he had a gameboy in his hand and playing intensely. Yuki and Tohru were lying on the ground, screaming and yelled and moaning. Tohru was holding Yuki's dick in her hand, and they both were rolling around like a couple of dumbasses.

"I think you guys should leave now." Momiji said, embarrassed.

"Ok." Shigure said happily, and gathered the still drunken teens. "It was a nice visit, bye bye!" he yelled before leaving.

'Oh, they will never live this down, EVER!'


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Who now?" Shigure asked, continuing to drag them around the snow-covered ground.

"No one, just let me fuck Tohru some more!" Yuki yelled in response quite loudly.

"You weren't even fucking her, idiot." Shigure smiled and giggled. But Yuki didn't seem to hear. He just went into a fit of remembering Tohru and his 'moment'. "Oh Tohru, more, more, MORE, COME ON TOHRU!"

Shigure giggled to himself. 'This is the greatest of all of my pranks. That is certain. Oh I will remind them of these things every day, oh yes, oh yes…'

Then, after wandering mindlessly through the estate, Shigure noticed that they were at the front step of Hatori's house. He stared at it for a moment, then shrugged and knocked on the door. Hatori answered, but instantly closed to door when he saw who it was.

"Awww, Haa-san, lemme in, lemme in!" Shigure begged and fake cried.

A loud sigh could be heard from the other side of the door and it reopened. "Yay!" Shigure squealed and dragged them inside. Hatori shot a 'Why the hell are you dragging them around?' look. Shigure let go and looked to see that they were all fast asleep.

"Uhh, are they sick or something and require my care?" Hatori inquired.

"Oh no, I think they got into my sake and drank some. You know teenagers…"

"Yeah, I also know you well enough to suspect that you somehow made them drink it either by teasing that the boys wouldn't be manly if they didn't and you'd be upset if Tohru didn't OR you spiked their drinks while they weren't in the room."

"Eh hehehe." An anime sweatdrop appeared over Shigure's head.

Hatori sighed. "Which is it?"

Shigure slowly stuck up a number 2 with his fingers. Hatori then sighed again and reached for his coffee. But he felt for it and noticed that nothing was there. He looked behind him and noticed that Tohru had his coffee mug in her hands and was sipping it hungrily. With each sip, she seemed to get more and more jittery.

What he also noticed behind her was that Kyo and Yuki were looking through cabinets of his medicines and every couple they looked at they were stuffing in their mouths.

"Hey, stop that." Hatori marched over to the boys and took the jars of medicine from them. "That's dangerous, you could die you know."

But instead of being dead, Yuki and Kyo were now high as well as drunk. They started to randomly dance around Hatori like a tribe of Indians would around a campfire. Well, drunken Indians.

Hatori looked lost for words, having no idea what to do or say. He turned towards Shigure for help, only to find that he was on the ground laughing. Once he saw that Hatori was glaring at him, he regained composure quickly and stood as though he did nothing. He even whistled.

Then, still dancing like drunken Indians, they made their way over to Hatori's fireplace. On the way, they got Tohru to join their dance. Now they were dancing in a circle like drunken Indians, even humming their own retarded sounding tribal music, and Shigure and Hatori were just gaping at them.

For a while the dance continued, even escalated. Yuki was now making sexy thrusts in Tohru's direction and Kyo was doing the Indian sound thing with his mouth where you go "Awww" and pat your hand over it.

Hatori finally just couldn't handle the stupidity anymore. He walked over to the group and pushed them all over. It didn't take very much effort for them all to collapse on the floor. But they were all laughing when they hit the ground.

"Oh Yuki, I love you man!" Kyo yelled.

"I love you too Kyo!"

They both crawled over to each other and locked each other into an embrace. Tohru clapped happily, Shigure laughed, and Hatori rolled his eyes.

"Ok, I've got to go give Akito a check-up, why don't you guys go home now?"

"Nonsense Hatori, we'll go with you and visit Akito."

"No, that's not a very good idea…"

But Shigure was already grabbing the teens' wrists and ready to dragged them out. Hatori sighed and let them follow.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The wait was too long for Shigure's liking. They all had to wait for Akito's check-up to be finished before they could enter. It drove Shigure mad to have to wait before he could see Akito's reaction to his prank. If the only thing they did that night was to see Akito, it would have all been worth it.

The teens were doing something with a rock the found on the floor, but he couldn't figure out what. They were just tossing it back and forth, most of the time none of them caught it. Actually he hadn't seen one of them catch it yet. But they were laughing their heads off anyway.

"It looks like an airplane!" Tohru yelled. (the stone is almost perfectly round)

"No, it looks like a piece of pizza!" Kyo yelled before trying to eat it, and ended up chipping a tooth. Then he gave it to Yuki.

"No, it looks like a French man! See the mustache?" he pointed at a spot on the rock that had nothing special there. But the others nodded in acknowledgement.

The door swung open, revealing Hatori. "You can go in." he said plainly, and then left without saying goodbye.

Shigure dragged the teens into the large dark room. In front of the window that lit up the room slightly from the moonlight was Akito.

"Hello," came Akito's dark creepy voice. "Is there something you want?"

"No, only to visit you." Shigure answered and kneeled respectfully. But drunken teenagers hardly showed that kind of respect. Almost in clumsy sync, they tumbled on top of Akito. "Hi!" "Hi Akito!" and things of that sort were yelled in his ear.

"GET THE HELL OFF ME YOU DAMN ANIMALS!" Akito shoved them off, leaving them on the ground as he stood. "What, are all of you drunk or something!"

Shigure coughed into his hand very loudly and obnoxiously. So loud and obnoxious that Tohru screamed and ran in fear. But it was too dark for her to see the wall in front of her, so naturally, she ran into it. This knocked her out momentarily.

"What the hell? Who do you think you are? Why are you acting like that?" Kyo said and fury came out of nowhere. He stood up shakily and started kicking Yuki several times. "Get up, jeez!" Yuki said, "Ouch, god, stop, ouch, what you wanna go?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll go!"

"Fine then!" Yuki got up off the ground and the both of them set up in a lame fighting stance. Yuki did the matrix hand motion and the fight began.

First, Kyo kicked Yuki. His strike was short about a foot and he ended up losing balance and falling over. Yuki leaned down and tried to punch him, but missed and hit the ground. "Ouch!" he yelled.

Shigure and Akito stood silent. Shigure was putting all efforts towards not laughing his head off, and Akito was attempting to control rage.

Soon the boys were caught in a bunch of lame kicks and punches as well as other failed karate moves. Kyo punched and missed, hitting the wall, followed by Yuki kicking Kyo's legs and kicking in-between them instead, which caused him to fall over. It went on like that for 20 minutes.

They both lie on the floor, beaten more by themselves than each other. Then, in a final attempt to defeat Yuki, Kyo flung his entire body atYuki. He again missed completely, and rammed himself headfirst into the wall. He passed out, now defeated. Seems the cat will never win.

Akito finally released all of his rage and attacked Yuki, the only remaining conscious one. Yuki did absolutely nothing to stop this strange fury. He just lie on the ground, limp as a dead person.

This went on for about 5 minutes before Akito stopped, panting. Yuki lay limp for a moment more, then had a random burst of energy and attacked Akito. Though instead of trying to hurt Akito, he grabbed for the kimono and ripped it open, logic or intentions unknown.

Akito's eyes widened as his breasts were exposed. Yuki's eyes widened too, not believing what he saw. 'Akito's a woman! Ahhhh!' he thought. He turned to Shigure, who was faking shock, and failing, but Yuki was too drunk to notice. Then he went insane and ran into the wall on the other side of the room, screaming. On impact, he too was knocked out.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The next day, Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo had such bad headaches they had to stay home from school. And Shigure was more than happy to tell them in impressive detail about what he had done and what happened resulting if it.

After discovering this, Kyo tried to kill Shigure in creative and clever ways. This included use of a lawnmower, a broom, and a cheese grater. Do not ask for details. But every time, Shigure always got away with a narrow escape.

Yuki beat the shit out of Shigure everytime he saw him, using his walking stick he used to walk around the house with. And when I say beat the shit, I literally mean beat the shit in one case. He refused to look at Tohru the whole day.

Tohru didn't seem all too angry, just sickly from the headache. Uo and Hana visited her afterschool, which made her feel better. But suddenly, a group of ninjas attacked her and, using fancy kung fu moves, was able to kill her after putting her through excruciating pain and making the death slow! Huzzah!

Just kidding, though we all wish I wasn't. Happy holidays everyone!


End file.
